Managing Perceptions

Most new managers learn this the hard way: you can do genuinely good work and still get side-eyed, simply because people are not reading the situation the way you think they are.

You deliver. You stay late. You solve problems. You keep the wheels from falling off. And then you hear, “I’m not sure you have control of the team,” or “I’m not seeing enough ownership,” or my personal favourite, “We need more visibility.” Visibility is one of those corporate words that sounds important but usually means, “I don’t know what’s going on, and that makes me nervous.”

That’s what managing perception is. Not politics. Not manipulation. Not becoming a full-time Zoom nodder while your soul quietly exits your body. It’s simply recognising that people don’t experience your work directly. They experience the signals around your work. If you don’t shape those signals with clarity, people will shape them for you with assumptions. And assumptions are rarely kind.

Perception is what fills the gap between what you intended and what others observed. You might think, “I’m protecting the team by not escalating this yet.” Your leader might think, “Why am I hearing this so late?” You might think, “I’m giving the team freedom.” Your team might think, “Why is everything vague and changing every day?” Same situation, different stories. And the story people believe becomes your reputation.

The tricky part is you have two audiences watching you at the same time. Upwards, your leaders. Downwards, your team. If you over-focus on one side, the other side starts to drift.

Over-focus on your team and you can become the manager who is loved but not trusted above. The “nice person” who keeps everyone comfortable, but nothing feels predictable. Over-focus on leaders and you can become the manager who delivers deadlines, but the team feels like you’re “on their side only when it’s convenient.” Neither is fun. Both are common. And most new managers swing between the two depending on what went wrong last week.

Here’s a cleaner way to think about it. Every manager’s job has three layers. Do the work. Translate the work. Do it consistently enough that people stop guessing.

Leaders above you usually want one thing, even if they don’t say it clearly. They want to feel safe. Safe does not mean happy. It means no surprises, especially public surprises. It means they can trust your judgment. It means they know what’s going well, what’s at risk, and what you’re doing about it.

Most leaders don’t need more detail. They need less uncertainty. If your updates are only activity, you look busy. If your updates bring clarity, you look in control.

This is where new managers slip. They wait too long to communicate because they want to “first fix it.” It comes from a good place. But when your leader finds out late, it looks like you hid it or didn’t see it early. Not a great perception, even if your intentions were pure.

So try a small shift. Don’t escalate problems. Escalate reality. Reality sounds like: this is what we’re seeing, this is the impact if it continues, this is what we’re trying, and this is what I might need from you if it doesn’t improve. That’s not drama. That’s maturity.

Also, when you go to your leader, don’t drop a problem like a hot potato. Bring options. Two is enough. Option A if you had full control. Option B if constraints exist. Then your recommendation. Leaders don’t want to do your job. They want to make decisions with good inputs. Done well, the perception becomes: this person thinks.

Downwards, it’s different. Your team doesn’t need you to be perfect. They need you to be fair, consistent, and clear. Most teams can handle a tough plan. What they struggle with is confusion and mixed signals.

A common trap is saying “I’m being transparent” while saying nothing meaningful. Transparency is not over-sharing. It’s giving enough context for people to understand why priorities changed and what matters right now. Your team doesn’t need every meeting detail. They do need to know what you’re optimising for, what constraints exist, and what you’re protecting.

Another trap is inconsistency. Different rules for different people. You might think you’re being flexible. They might experience favouritism. People pick it up fast.

And then there’s silence during uncertainty. Silence creates a vacuum. Vacuums get filled with anxiety, gossip, and that one person who always “has a feeling” about what leadership is planning. If you don’t know yet, say that calmly, then say when you’ll know more.

One habit that helps a lot is to narrate decisions, not just outcomes. Instead of “This is the new plan,” add: “Here’s how we decided, and what we’re optimising for.” That one sentence turns a random change into a coherent choice.

Finally, the uncomfortable truth. Perception is shaped more by patterns than by your big wins. Do you only show up when something breaks, or do you also notice what’s going well? Do you give credit, or quietly collect it? Do you protect your team’s time, or forward everything with “pls do needful” and disappear?

Your reputation isn’t formed on your best day. It’s formed on your average day.

So keep it ethical and simple. A rule that keeps it clean: never use communication to hide weak execution. Use communication to prevent confusion. The goal is not to look impressive. The goal is to be understood.

If you’re a new manager reading this, sit with a few questions. When people misunderstand you, what do they usually misunderstand: your priorities, your tone, your decisions, or your intent? What are you assuming people “should know” that you’ve never actually said out loud? Where are you staying silent because you hope it’ll sort itself out, and what might that silence be costing you?

Managing perception isn’t about playing the game. It’s about reducing guesswork. And once you do that, you stop feeling constantly misread, and people stop acting like they’re dealing with two different versions of you.